There are some people that walk into our lives that we feel something for. You just get that inner hunch that you need to know more about her, get to understand her and establish a relationship with her for a long time. The basics and essence of marriages and partnerships remains the very same. While it is easy for some to find their better half, it is very difficult for others and the search could be grueling. There is need for a lot of prayers and istikhara in all these. These are the qualities and attributes a man should be on the look out for when looking for a wife and life partner.
1. She must be God fearing- Every man respects and retains a woman that put Allah's consciousness in whatever thing she does. This quality gives a man an assurance that she will do the right thing most times and will help them grow spiritually when help is needed. The Qur'an says: "In the nature of things, corrupt women are for corrupt men, and corrupt men, for corrupt women - just as good women are for good men, and good men, for good women. (Q24v26)". If you are lucky to get a good woman who is spiritually and emotionally strong, then hold on to her and never let go.
2. She is beautiful- Beautiful women tend to gain more love in men's mind than the ordinary ladies, even thou beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, as long as a woman possesses the beautiful qualities he desires, he should never let her go. The beauty includes physical, intellectual, mode of dressing, mannerism etc. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: It was said: O Messenger of Allah, which of women is best? He said: "The one who, when he looks at her he feels happy, when he tells her to do something she obeys him, and she does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or his wealth." Narrated by Ahmad If her looks makes you happy, it is one of the reasons to let her stay.
3. She is wife material- If she is able to take good care of the home and the home environment. If she is a good cook and very dynamic in the kitchen, she gives new taste once a while to compliment the usual meal, then hold on to her. A very essential aspect of wife material is the ability to take care of the sick within the family. She should be caring, nurturing. "Women asked Rasul Allah (SAW), 'O Messenger of Allah, Is there any deed that we women can do through which we can obtain the same reward of performing Jihad?' The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, "If one of you does the work of her house it will fetch her the same reward as performing Jihad." [Baihaqi] If she understand this hadith well enough and act by it, you have a good reason to keep her within reach.
4. She is dependable- Life gets difficult from time to time. It can get boring and monotonous just as well. If you can look back and get someone to encourage you get on with whatever challenges you are facing, then she is worth holding on to. If you are 'broke' and she is there to 'raise' you. When your spirit is down, she should be the one complimenting you, encouraging you, assisting you. If she gets all these, bet it, you are having a great asset. Allah says: "They are a vestment for you (man) and you are a vestment for them, (Q2v187)". Whenever you are in need of care and support, if she readily assists, you are lucky to have her.
5. She loves you with all her heart- When a good woman loves you, she loves you with her entire soul. It's not the same sort of love that men experience - men always were and always will be more egocentric than women. Women, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to devote themselves entirely to the person they love. If you find a woman that truly loves you then you found the greatest gift in the universe. "The Holy Prophet stated: 'The best of you among women are those who possess love and affection".
6. She is trustworthy- If she is someone that keeps your secret even when you both have misunderstandings, then she is good. She does not use the quarrel between the two of you as an excuse to reveal your secret to your family and friends, be sure you are with the right person. "Imam Rida (a.s) stated: 'The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honour in his absence'."
7. She is conscious of her utterances- No man loves a nagging woman as a partner. If she is a person that uses the right, kind words most times, then you've found something good. A woman that does not use abusive words on the husband even during misunderstandings, she is not the one that shouts out her minds to be heard by people in a quarrel. She possesses the maturity to tackle issues when confronted with one. "The Prophet (SAW) stated: 'The prayers of a woman who teases her husband with her tongue, are not accepted (by Allah) even though she fasts every day, gets up for the acts of worship every night, sets free a few slaves and donates her wealth in the way of Allah. A bad-tongued woman, who hurts her husband in this way, is the first person who enters hell". You are a lucky dude if your wife is not a nagging type.
8.She means the world to you- Sometimes we love a person beyond imagination and we aren't sure why. To be truthful, you don't really need a reason. If you love her and can't imagine your life without her, then don't allow yourself to lose her. "And of His signs are that; He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect" (Q30:21). If she means that much to you, then understand that she means that much to you. Too often people don't realize what the other person means to them until they lose them. We always think that there will be another chance that it is possible that the two of you will one day reconnect.
9.She is passionate- A life filled with passion is a life worth living. But living a life of passion alone is basically impossible. Passion exists between two living things - usually, in some way or another, between two individuals. The beauty of passion is that it's rather contagious. It's the world's most revered pathogen. "And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect (Q30:21)." If you are one of those that have a passionate woman as a partner, please don't let her go.
10. She is obedient and respectful- When she respects your idea both in and outside the home. She does not behave like you are not intelligent. And she obey your commands even though she makes you see reasons on her arguments, she is a wife material. Prophet Muhammed (SAW) says "If prostration to anyone other than Allah was to be permitted, it would be for the wife to her Husband". This implies that women should respect their husband the most. If she is wise enough to accord you the much deserved respect, then respect her in return and value her companionship.