By Samina Farooq
I’m
sure that it’s an international issue but I’m going to specifically discuss
public washrooms around the religious sanctities. Since tahara (cleanliness) is our half faith. But
in my travels, it has become clear that people don’t understand how to behave
in them, let alone taking care of tahara.
Yes it’s a fairly gross subject but this dormant “loo-phobia”
you may have, could soon be defeated by nature hitting its panic button on you.
You will start to see black spots floating in the air and one of them of them
will even speak to you. Nature does not always wait for the most opportune time
to make its appearance; your days there (specially at hajj) may be longer than
your endurance. So, sometimes, you are forced to visit the nearest facility.
Unfortunately, the nearest restrooms are not always the most fun to call upon.
And in case you can’t find one near, just follow your senses. Your nose will guide
your way. Wherever it smells funny, there it is. But you won’t be laughing!
So consider this a refresher course, a guide, to be crammed,
forwarded or shared as needed. (Not for the weak hearted) – just breathe into a
paper bag until you throw up. But till then, bear with me.
1) CLEAN AFTER
YOURSELF
Now this is a no-brainer. Bathrooms should be clean. There
should be no sign of fecal matter (yours or anyone else’s). But since it’s not
always the case, you will walk into a cubicle and walk right out again,
mentally and emotionally scarred. To even get to the seat, you have to wade
through a lake of mystery liquid that, by the laws of logistical probability,
very likely isn’t water. And when you arrive, you may find that the last person
to use it couldn’t decide because it’s everywhere but in the bowl given, which
isn’t rocket science. Feces are supposed to go in the water inside the toilet
into the dark abyss.
“duh” you say. “Everyone knows that.”
Oh really? Then why is it on the toilet seat and on the restroom floor
approximately all the time?
There is a button located directly above the toilet paper that is marked with
the word… wait for it… “FLUSH”. Press that! And if the water isn’t available
then you should’ve kept a water bottle with you. If its too late then cry us
some river please and get it flushed. You shouldn’t expect free toilet paper,
tissue or soap either. So carry them with you in small amounts.
P.S. if it’s like a cubicle from which Ikea should learn space
management, then don’t go in with big gallons of water (above 1 litre –
definitely a no no) because that will leave no space for you. And if you start
to wrestle in there deciding whether the bottle should occupy the space or you,
making people outside lose it and giving up right beside the door of your
cubicle then you may not have many gymnastic abilities to try when stepping out
then.
2) COVER AND LET
OTHERS STAY COVERED
People
naturally expect privacy in the restroom but it’s far from priority for most.
You may get in to only find your second biggest fear happening (I say second
biggest fear because your first biggest fear is obviously being that person) –
someone didn’t lock the door and is now smiling at you. Smiling is sunnah I accept. But in such circumstances,
it’s frightening. But obviously screaming too, is the worst option at that
time. It will draw a large crowd. Just close the door immediately – don’t even
wait to apologize. If the guilt is overwhelming then offer them something from
your bag/purse/wallet as a peace offering – definitely after they have stepped
out of the cubicle. Or you can stand outside their door and beg for their
forgiveness. If they were out of water (as you may have noticed in a split
second), you could go to a bathroom close by and steal some water but be sure
to knock to make sure no one is in there. You don’t want to get stuck doing
double bathroom apologies. It will get expensive and tiring. And you may lose
your own control during the process.
There
is a clear line that is not supposed to be crossed. Your satr (part of body to cover) is from navel
till knees. Keep it covered.
Nobody wants to see it. (This is meant for men in ihram also – people are there
to attain closeness of Allah and your unawareness about your whereabouts could
make a difference).
If you can’t find any stall empty, please prefer the bushes over
exhibition because others may join you in your brave-step-taken and now you
have a sin of the entire bathroom audience on you and this would yank up the
Haram meter up to a highest level.
3) DON’T STEAL
TOILETRIES
The
person you saw smiling at you may have a reason behind it – No bathroom lock.
Now I don’t know if people think if they are going to build their own toilet
someday or open a bathroom business that’s why they came in with screws and
took all the locks away or it’s their way of serial revenge, but that stuff is
not for free and it’s not yours to take away. Let it be where it belongs. Or
next time you will be in that state where one of your hand will be covering the
space from where the lock is kidnapped and another will be holding the door
(while someone will be trying to open it) and you won’t be the one smiling this
time. What goes around comes around. Beware!
Please don’t steal – be it locks, tissue paper, pipes
etc. Anything. You don’t want to owe so many people, toiletries, on the Day of
Judgment.
4) DON’T ANSWER
NATURE CALLS WITH A CONVERSATION
Now here’s a fairly interesting pet peeve: talking. Holding
court in the area where people are relieving themselves is not good for
unbiased judgments. They might not want to be your audience or testify for
anything in your favor. And worse than observing a forum, is having someone
engage them in that conversation.
You do
know it’s not ok to talk while attending to your business,
right?
And even the most commonest-of-all-common senses say, it’s just gross.
Which
brings me to attending phone calls in the toilet.
If there’s any sort of line, don’t use your phone in the
bathroom. This is purely a matter of courtesy. Please focus on the task at
hand. If it’s called a restroom, it doesn’t mean you rest in there. No text or
a selfie can be more urgent than what others, with bladders the size of a
grape, in line need to do – every second for whom means the difference between
dignified relief and a desperate sprint out the door to a dark corner of the
nearest hill/jungle, which you shouldn’t be grumpy about, when you step on it.
5) KEEP YOUR CREATIVITY CONFINED TO YOUR OWN
WALLS
I’m all for creativity and art but please limit your mediums to
less-pukable ones. Nobody wants to see your art on the toilet floor or anywhere
around it. I’m glad human being doesn’t possess superpowers with which they can
climb the walls because you may have to deal with wall art as well and no I’m
not talking about graffiti. But I’m coming to that.
Keep your graffiti confined to your own walls. This is a public
area. Not yours to claim or paint. Spray painting the bathroom doors with
things that may force parents to blindfold their kids when sending them in
these toilets. (Now you know the reason behind that wreck). Then writing your
number beside. Seriously?
I can’t even comment on this one. I’m out. Sorry. Retiring from earth. I live
in space now.
Heart
not warmed yet? It will be microwaved because…
6) EXTRA-HYGIENE
MEANS EXTRA-DANGER
In your effort to be super hygienic, don’t wash your hands so
many times or do ablution so obsessively that you flood the whole place. Use
the water reasonably.
Another extreme is flushing the toilet with foot instead of a
hand. People with hands – PLEASE! Acrobatics required to use your foot to
flush, raise your risk of injury from slipping and falling, if you’re standing
on one leg to flush the toilet. A flamingo can do it well, you can’t. It may
end you up in way more mess than you thought you can get into, from touching
the handle.
Some
people go to extra length by not sitting on the seat and hovering closely above
it. Now if you were in the one ply cubicle, the floor art is understandable
because they move with a tiny gush of wind even. So please don’t hover above
the seat, making it difficult for you to find balance even.
You are in a world of communicable diseases, I accept! But a
research says that 18% of your phones are more germ-ish than the toilet seat
(unless you put the phone ON the toilet seat). So might as well save yourself
the extra agony and perch your rear end on the seat. Don’t be a human
spaceship.
If you
are going all Indian toilet up on the European toilet, then at least clean
after yourself. Your shoe/slipper prints will be all over the seat. Roll the
tissue around your hand and just clean it. I’m sure your mother taught you that
as well before you had an accident in which you lost your memory on cleaning
manners. By you I mean people, not YOU of course. You wouldn’t do that, would
you?
7) PATIENCE IS
VIRTUE, LYING IS NOT
You may usually find a long line in front of washrooms in places
where there are little to no WCs available. Usually the queue would literally
be hanging by the bathroom doors (if handles are available that is, otherwise –
hanging by the holes). You may just want to stand in line calmly because the
person in front of you deems every move from you as a line-breaking threat and they
have thought of every clever way to stop you. It may include physical violence
as well. What impatience does to human beings sometimes!
There are times when calm is a word in dreams only. You will enter a stampede
and the next thing you know, you’re in a washroom.
And even though it sounds like a better option than waiting in
line and you may want to be the one to start that stampede through witty
pretense, but it’s not. It usually involves pushing, shouting, hitting, lying,
knocking each other down etc. (perhaps hair pulling as well). Bad deeds don’t
add up to success. Even if you manage to push all other contestants in line, it
won’t feel like a victory. So avoid being in that group.
Don’t
claim ownership of the bathroom. Or tell people that you’re waiting for your
family member in there (thinking we all are after all brothers and sisters
since Adam and Eve were our greatest fore-parents). Your turn will come Insha'Allah,
don’t worry.
Save yourself from unnecessary lies. (And who doesn’t know, lying is bad anyway). Don’t render your Hajj/Umrah or any religious act that you are
going to perform afterwards or performed before, useless.
8) YOUR KIDS ARE
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
Help the little ones before you help yourself. Their level of
control is zero as compared to yours. But first commode in the first row is
always the bad choice. Because that’s where the most uncontrolled splatters
are. Which of course makes sense – they couldn’t make it any further. So walk a
little (or perhaps run like a wind), holding your gag reflexes on standby as
you poke through all the stalls anticipating post-culinary exploration
disaster. But there will be a cleaner one, I can guarantee (almost 90%). Don’t
lose hope. Just Un-witness the ones witnessed in line.
When
you’re making sure that your kids are not eating their own boogers, also make
sure that you are not the one sticking it on the walls. If you find such
things, don’t feel ashamed to clean it off with
the help of tissues etc. I have personally witnessed women picking up someone
else’s baby’s diapers and throwing them into the trash bags and cleaning up the
area, just to provide better environment for the newcomers. It’s not an easy
task. May Allah reward them immensely.
So please! Those with diaper clad babies – when you change the
diaper of your baby, please throw it into the dumpster. Babies’ faces are cute
but their feces are not. Don’t just roll it in the air and let fate decide its
destiny. When you clean after yourself, please do that for the baby as well.
Man or woman – whoever is taking it for the team.
9) DON’T ABUSE THE
TOILETRIES
Sometimes the flush is not working because of too much toilet
paper clogged inside (or too much dinner). You may see the dustbin beside the
pot, empty! And you wonder why do people throw everything around while there is
space for everything given? People who lead adult-lives, by the adulthood they
should know how to use a chair with a hole in it. Something that they have been
taught to use and have been using since 15 years or so. Definitely we are the
disease!
If the faucet sensor doesn’t work once, no need to constantly
hit the poor thing. Because it may fire back by automatically turning itself on
when you will least expect it. Be gentle with the public property. You don’t
want to go outside explaining people that it’s not what they think it is.
Forego the hand dryer altogether because it probably won’t work
anyway. Because you may stand there with your hands outstretched (crowding the
place) waiting for some magic to happen but it won’t. If the restroom looks
well maintained then probably it will but usually it doesn’t and all you do is
make the crowd turn into a mob. Save people some space instead and wipe your
wet hands with tissue instead, if you wish.
Under dire circumstances, don’t jiggle someone else’s door
handle angrily. Either you will lock them inside permanently or you will break
the handle. Both ways, your future isn’t bright.
Don’t
take your overloaded purse/bag inside the toilet. Sometimes the hooks aren’t
very strong. Sometimes there are no hooks at all. Either way, draping it around
your neck may be the last resort.
Hand it over to someone close, outside the restroom. Don’t bring
them in just so they could wait outside your stall, holding your bag. It will
crowd the area unnecessarily.
(If
you think this all as a mere exaggerated joke, I would just say you’ve been
extremely lucky. But these guidelines will help you in the future whenever you
get out of the warm folds of your home sweet home)
10) STAY
GOD-CONSCIOUS
Jokes
apart, this is something serious because one of the grave punishments includes
someone not being conscious about cleanliness.
We can’t single-handedly eradicate the lack of hygiene issues in
public restrooms but we can dilute its strength. We will never not be fighting.
We will go on, we will always work this issue until it doesn’t need to be
worked on anymore. This is just a small step towards some basic awareness – but
a small step is better than nothing, better than an intangible ideal.
Please
make purification – your half faith!
Our religion is so beautiful and complete. It teaches us how to live a life –
from smallest details to the biggest of issues. The very basics of life.
Basically,
a good policy is:
Try to leave the vicinity in the condition you would wish to find it. Treat it
like you usually treat your own toilet at home, especially when the guests are
coming. Be the best version of yourself that ever existed. Be the super-you.
You got it in you somewhere, so just be that.
Be the change you want to see in the world. And if Muslims are going to present
themselves this way, how are we ever going to preach? Actions speak louder than
words. Even if nobody is watching you, Allah is. Angels are taking notes. You
will be rewarded. Insha'Allah.
May Allah guide us all to the best behavior that wouldn’t hurt
us or people around us.
About the author: Samina Farooq is a co-founder
of ayeina.com She is an engineer by
qualification, a Qur’an student by occupation, a photographer by eye, a writer
by heart, and a Muslim by soul.
