When I ask people if they are attracted to someone not like them, they say yes. For me, that is only applicable in laboratories where we were being taught "like charges repel, unlike charges attracts". In facts, I dis concur! I feel attracted more to people that share the same vision, way of life, thinking and approach issues the way I will. I am not totally disputing the fact that sometimes I get carried away with people totally different from me but whatever relationship we have always go into oblivion. As an enthusiastic person, full of life and adventures, I dislike negative-minded people and introverts. Being with people of the same character and opinion enlivens my heart, gives me joy and makes me feel more relaxed and part of something big. Best friends are best friends because they relate and connect on so many different levels. They share likes, dislikes, hobbies and habits. I will share my own life stories to enumerate in a number of ways why I know opposites do attract.
RELATIONSHIP: This is a personal story. There was this guy I considered for marriage. We were so different; our story can be likened to that of ‘Buffalo and the Hunter’. Let me save you the story and get back to business. We did not have anything in common, even our senses of humour were polar opposite, and we communicated mostly through action with little words. I have a vague remembrance of him laughing once at my joke and dance. He thought I was funny, I really do doubt that. I am creative and love expressing myself through art, he never thought much of that and never acknowledged my passion for the arts. Not even once. When I sensed insecurities in him, I chose to end my dysfunctional relationship; apparently he was ready to withdraw from me at this point too. We were not the same. We were not equally yoked. We were opposites. We were different and incompatible. I said bye to what would have been a chaotic marriage. Alhamdulilahi.
CAREER: I work efficiently and effectively knowing that organizational vision should align. I’m not saying the route to achieving the vision has to be the same all through but knowing that we are both working towards the same goal give satisfaction, strength and a sense of purpose. I am more practical and creative and can maneuver things to give a beautiful outcome. Working with someone with a radically different idea, we might never move forward meaningfully. It takes creativity to see that even ‘mistakes in art is a design’. If I were to interview prospective employees to work with me, I would look out for composure, confidence and comportment and also shared purpose. I read people a lot and pick on little things. Only when I have the same vision with my employees can we work together towards success with sincerity.
LIFESTYLE: Fashion is my middle name, even though I do not believe in brands or labels, I go for what fits me, suits my personality, energy and mood for the day. I don’t follow majority but create my own minor. Through heart breaks, disappointments, loss or rejection, looking good comes easily to me. I may not be happy, but I will always still dress up fine, maybe I use clothes to mask sadness. I am a stylish dresser and I make no apologies for that. I do not wait for friend's affirmation for my dressing, I do me. I am certainly my own woman and when It’s time to taking a break from everything, I could withdraw from the world and resort to quiet places like reserves, waterfalls to experience nature in its magnificence. Everyone around me has gotten the message and hardly questions my preference. When it’s time to go out and have fun with friends, even on those dreadful broke days, I do as far as am able. It takes a like- minded person to understand my life and how I go about it. An opposite would not.
BELIEFS AND VALUES: As a Muslim, I feel more drawn to fellow Muslims these days that I have become more spiritual. I wanted to renew my faith and those are just exactly the type of people I need to inspire me. I also have friends with different beliefs but I seem different to them these days. I would appreciate it more when someone gives me motivational books, an autobiography or Qur'an as a gift than cakes. When I tell my friends I need to change my wardrobe, they know exactly where to take me or ping me up and show me styles of hijabs and abayas. You can hardly find me at comedy shows or bars and clubs any more. They say “evil communication corrupts good manners". I go for tafsir instead. I am a changed person, so there is need for someone who balances me out. Not an opposite, but a like person.
HOBBIES AND INTERESTS: I ‘love’ as a hopeful romantic, I could write poems, songs, speak the words just to make someone smile. I also revel in the company of children and could be a kid all over again when I find myself in their midst, if a man feels uncomfortable with this aspect of me, I wish him safe journey. I also love to have my own friends and do not believe any man should stifle me. There is nothing like an afternoon of hanging out with good friends in a mall after a well deserved retail therapy. This is reading like my personality decoded and what I want from my future husband. I know that before one chooses a partner, you should both be best friends. Being life partners means you are in a journey for the long haul. Marriage is meeting of the minds, being on the same page, the same wavelength. You must have plenty things in common and be super connected. A man should also offer security, compassion, loyalty, kindness, wisdom, humour and honesty. A woman should be supportive and be a blessing to her husband. I am using this Ramadan to pray for all single ladies to find their right partners. I also pray for a partner who believes in me, supports all I do and loves me for who I am. I hope you enjoy reading this and share your opinions too. “OPPOSITES DO NOT ATTRACT BUT LIKES ATTRACTS”. Barakallahu fih (Amin).
Ganiyah Kareem is a scientist and a makeup artist.