Envy Is Eating Me Raw

Dear 1one4 Aunty,

I know they say it is not good to compare ourselves with others, I know they say everyone has their own path, story, their own life but I cannot help but compare myself to my best friend. We graduated together from the same university and served in the same state. She taught in a school and I worked in a State Ministry. Immediately after youth service, she met her husband at an Islamic gathering.

The husband is a big time business man and they have three beautiful children now and live in a mansion. My friend has the idyllic life I have always craved; they are always traveling outside the country, on holidays and cruises. She recently posted pictures of them on a yacht in the Mediterranean on social media. I am still in the Ministry, single, always broke and getting somewhat desperate. My friend's life has changed enormously; she got the handsome husband, the most beautiful kids and a big house amongst other properties. She recently launched her own business and it is making real waves as I heard. I have nothing. I keep moving from one relationship to the other, men tend to take advantage of me, collect the little I have with the promise of marriage and disappear.

I have tried getting a better job, but we all know how Nigeria is. My life is a standstill and has been so for a long time. Sometimes I do not even know what to do with myself, my life stories is mostly of bitterness, pain and emotional turmoil. My friend tries to reach out from time to time and encourages me before going off to her jet set life. I am now always thinking about her and her life. I am definitely jealous of everything she has been able to achieve that I have not. I have recently left facebook, twitter and all that so that I do not see anything anymore but it is still hard. How do I kill the spirit of envy and jealousy that is biting me so hard? Ultimately, how do I change my own story for the best?

Fatima

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