Dear 1one4 Aunty,
I am a 32 year old divorcee. My first marriage was a disaster and something I do not like dwelling on. We were definitely two very incompatible people that shouldn’t have met on this earth under any guise. He came all nice and cordial in the beginning but the relationship unravelled quickly after the marriage and we discovered that the only thing we had in common was our mutual dislike and disrespect for one another.
It was a HUGE mistake which I have managed to put behind me. One thing was clear from that marriage, we hardly dated. We met through mutual friends and communicated mostly through phones and mails. I did not know him well. I am a Muslimah and I know Islam is against dating so we kept things clean and moral. After the marriage, it became clear that we had nothing in common. Nothing at all. I came into myself in that marriage, I discovered who I was, I found my purpose and what I wanted out of life and he could not deal with it. The marriage crashed. That was 4 years ago. We were married for just 3 years and no child between us.
Anyway, another marriage beacons and I would like to know this man inside out before the marriage. He is a gentle man and has no complex issues. He wants us to have date nights, hang out every weekend and do things together so we get to know one other well enough. He is an entrepreneur like me. Here is my confusion; are these allowed in Islam? I would really like to know him before any marriage venture but am afraid of what this means. I have suggested chaperoned dates, meeting in public places, in my family home? These are not going down well with him. How do we go about this please? He wants me to come to his home, unaccompanied and he lives alone. He says that’s the only way I will get to know him well. I want to know the real person as I’ll hate to enter into another unhappy relationship. Is there anything like halal dating? Please kindly advise.