That fertility starts to declines sharply after this age. My mother married at 21 and was done with babies by the time she was 28. Here was I at 29 and the guy had not shown up. I needed him to show up; With PCOS on my plate, the earlier he showed up the better for me. So on my 29th birthday, I wore a white dress and got loads of compliments, but wearing the dress was because I wanted some kind of purity and to pray throughout that day instead of just merrymaking – the prayer was towards the next birthday when I’ll be 30. The prayer points were few; 1. My own husband. 2. Easy pregnancies and 3. Wonderful, healthy children. Hard as I prayed that day and for so many days after the birthday, a husband showed up, unfortunately, he was not mine.

Upon till that particular birthday, every relationship I had never really worked out. I had two liaisons that I thought we were super connected and had mentioned PCOS but these guys never really understood. I made it a point to enlighten them but they never paid much attention or showed much interest so I refused to push it, anyway, the relationships ran its course and fizzled out.

What I learnt in all of these is that; women, there is a plan and purpose for every single one of us. While I agree that life could be a long lonely road when we walk it alone. I should not have been strung on meeting the guy and getting married, conceiving blaaaa... What is paramount is letting go and letting God. Instead of me to just enjoy life, I was anxious and in a hurry, wanted to do what I needed to do to settle down and bring fort children. It is imperative to allow God plan our lives. A or B meets the guy at 20, getting married at 23 and starting the reproductive processes around the 24-year mark is not usually how everyone’s life plays out. That is just what the biology books say is best, it cannot apply to all women. It’s hardly the case these days anyway. Women are getting married in their 30s, 40s and even 50s and they still have children. So if the husband has not come, do not wait around, please go out and enjoy yourselves. He will come at the right time as destined for you. And if you are not the marriage type, know that it is okay. Also, understand that marriage is not the be it and end all for we women. It’s neither a prize to be won nor an achievement. It is God ordained and just what it is – marriage.

Because my children came much later (I was 39 when I conceived); I had built a decent reputation on my career; I could take time off business and look for like minds to keep the dream alive whilst away. I could afford all the help I needed and was emotionally and financially more capable. These would not have been possible at 24. So the time sitting and waiting for a man, please build your personal brand, build businesses, women are already building empires. Yes, why not? And if it is fertility issues like moi that is making you anxious and pushy, know that you will only conceive when the Almighty says it’s time. A husband coming early enough hardly guarantees that. As I said earlier, there is a grand plan for every one of us especially the one who believes. Peace! The Serenity Prayer just came to mind:

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, The courage to change the things we can, And the wisdom to know the difference.


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