There are Quranic verses and Hadiths showing the importance of forgiveness in Islam and being obedient to our parents. Let us see what happened to Alqamah (radi Allahu anhu) during the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Alqamah (radi Allahu anhu) was a very pious person. He spent his time in prayer and fasting. At the approach of death he was unable to proclaim the Kalima Shahada, in spite of repeated instruction by those present. Alqamah’s wife sent a messenger to Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) to inform him of Alqamah’s grave condition.
Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) enquired whether the parents of Alqamah were alive. He was informed that Alqamah’s mother was alive. Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) asked the aged mother about Alqamah. She replied: “Alqamah is a very pious person. He passes his time in Salat and Saum. He performs Tahajjud, but he always disobeys me for the sake of his wife. I am, therefore, displeased with him.’
Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “It will be best for him if you forgive him.’ However, she refused. Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) ordered Bilal (radi Allahu anhu) to gather firewood. On hearing this order, Alqamah’s mother asked in consternation: “Will my child be burnt in the fire?’
Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Yes! Compared to the punishment of Allah, our punishment is light. I take oath by Allah that as long as you remain displeased with him, neither his Salat nor his Sadaqah is accepted.’
The old lady said: “I make you and all people present witness that I have forgiven Alqamah.’ Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) addressing the gathering, said: “Go and see if the Kalima is on the tongue of Alqamah or not.’
After returning from Alqamah the people informed him that he was reciting the Kalima. Thus, he left this world with the Kalima on his lips. After burying Alqamah, Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The curse of Allah is on the one who causes difficulty to his mother. The curse of the angels and the curse of mankind be on him. Allah Ta’ala neither accepts his Fardh nor his Nafl Ibadat as long as he does not repent and obey his mother. He has to gain her pleasure as best as he can. Allah’s Pleasure depends on the mother’s pleasure and His Wrath is concealed in her wrath.’”
This Hadith is an important reminder for us to be respectful and obedient to our parents and try to keep them happy with us. Our mothers deserve our utmost attention, respect and obedience. It is not a small matter to upset them for the sake of our friends or others who we value more.
It is also important to find out what are the rights of our children, spouses, relatives, friends and other Muslims so that we know what Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) wants us to do in case there is a clash between what different people want from us. This is the only proper way to balance relationships as it seeks Allah’s pleasure.
FROM THE QURAN AND HADITH:
And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
A man came to Allah’s Apostle and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man said. “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your father. ”
[Bukhari and Muslim]