Niyah, Why Are we doing this

As Salam Alaekum Warahmattullah Wabarakahtuhu Dearest Readers, Time really flies when you are having fun. Was it not about 6 months ago that I used to wonder what it would be like to have someone who cared for me, who called to check if my day was going well or not, someone who prayed with me that my flights should be safe and all that? Even though I prayed then, I often thought those things couldn’t be real, I thought they only existed in movies.

But in the last 2 months, I have seen that fairy tales do come true. Yeah, Abubakar or AB as I call him these days is my fairy tale indeed. Dude is just the complete package – prays salah, fasts, reads Quran, understands Arabic and has excellent manners. Did I ever mention that he is so soft spoken, kind and considerate? Where has this man been all my life? Beyond the Deen, him and I just “gel” on so many levels – we love the same type of food, books, movies and most importantly we both love to travel.

I have honestly found the man that Allah made for me, and all I can say is Alhamdulillah. But getting here wasn’t entire easy oh! I almost lost this guy as quickly as I found him because I did not understand the huge need men have to be needed. I had a rather hectic travel schedule last month; in fact I was only home for 5 days during the entire month. I remember texting him that I was back and just switching off my phone to get some much needed snooze. Woke up to a long list of chores: laundry, car oil change, bills etc. I was just running around the whole town. But I did not complain, that’s the way it is in this part of the world: with no house helps or drivers, you do everything yourself.

So why bother complaining about it when no one can solve the problem. Moreover, I had a dinner date to look forward to! This man just knows how to impress a girl like me! He made reservations at Fogo De Chao! I had mentioned the fact that I fell in love with the restaurant when I visited Brazil in 2007 the second time we talked, but I couldn’t find one in the area, and now he seemed to dig it up in this same city, isn’t he the best man? And am I not the luckiest girl in the world? Anyhow, we were catching up at dinner when he asked how my journey was and if I needed any help settling down and running my errands now that I was back, and I said “oh, please don’t worry about me or any of that, I got this.” I did not know that my attempt to save him from stress on my account came across as “I don’t need you, I can take care of myself.” I just realized that he became a bit withdrawn and quiet the rest of the evening.

Everything I tried to draw him out of the dark hole he climbed into just wouldn’t work. If I asked a question, he responded with one word, a joke met a smile with his lips but not his eyes. Dear God! I was too tired for all these, so I just told him that I wanted to go home. It was when he saw me off to my car that I knew what had happened. As I settled in with my seat belt fastened and wound down my window to say goodnight, he said: “Niyah, why are we doing this?” I looked at him in shock and he continued, “You can handle everything on your own, pay your own bills, fix everything and handle all your business, what do you need a man for? What do you need me for?” I opened my mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come out right, I mumbled something like, we shouldn’t be in a relationship to need people, we should need Allah alone. And dude just turned his back and walked away with a cold, “goodnight.” And that my friends is how our first cold war and my tutorial about “the needy beings began” …….…

Leave a Reply