Hold to forgiveness, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant [ Al-'Araf 7: 199]. We are the same human race, but everyone is so different in personality, character, attitude, behaviour. I do not think there are two of the same in humans; even in identical twins. The seven billion or so of us on planet earth are one of a kind and that is the genius of Allah. Since we are so different, we will hurt, provoke, vex, offend, cross, and betray each other. This could be friends, lovers, relatives, colleagues, even our neighbours. Are we going to let them deprive us of the peace of mind that come with forgiving? Are they really worth the stress of becoming angry and depriving us of real happiness?
Remember, those who are worth it would not make us feel like that. Even if they do, with time they would do some other beneficial things and we forget. There are people that come into our lives not to stay but to pass through it and teach us some vital lessons. Every betrayal teaches us never to trust in human but the creator - Allah. That is not to say you shouldn't trust but tread cautiously when dealing with others. Remember you have hurt people too and when you can't forgive the ones that hurt you, how do you want yourself to be forgiven. "What goes around comes around". These few tips are what happen when you forgive;
1.Forgiving others gives you a rest of mind
2.It opens doors for the right people to come and better things to happen
3.When you forgive others, Allah forgives you too and your sins are washed away.
You cannot replace your relatives no matter how much they hurt you and there are reasons why things don't always go as planned. What people do to you doesn't make you who you are but how you respond to it. Inculcate the habit of forgiving everyday even if the husband or wife you live with is annoying. Remember why you said you do in the first instance and make that lingers in your memory forever instead of holding unto the wrong they have done. I want to use the following note to forgive my transgressors and also to apologize to the people I have hurt too. Will do an actual letter to a particular friend who hurt me most recently.
Dear Friend, I am grateful to Almighty Allah for making our paths cross at one point and even though it was of much pain and agony that I had to let you go at some point, I am happy today that I made that decision of letting go. I was sincerely devastated when you stabbed me at my back. I tared up for days because I couldn't fathom what I had done to deserve all you did to me. I certainly do deserve better than a cheater and an unfaithful friend. Today I am blessed with the most wonderful and God-fearing friend anyone would wish for - my own self. It would be very unfair to still be angry over something that has already happened. I tell you I am a better person for all you did; I am wiser, stronger and more focused with life and the journey ahead of me. I am grateful that you left and I wish you Allah’s best. I also want to apologize for my own mishap to you in case there are any. I hope I left you for a better person too. May Allah forgive us all.
Ganiyah Kareem is a scientist and a make up artist