BY SAMINA FAROOQ,
When you first become a mother,
there are so many emotions bubbling inside your body and soul that it can get
difficult to hold them in. So you end up living in a constant state of either
crying, or smiling (while crying)…or seething (while crying), aching (while
crying), laughing hysterically (you guessed it… while crying)…in short you are
marinating in your own tears constantly because hormones are wreaking havoc
the fuzzy feelings are trying to co-exist.
breaking and putting yourself back together again. Tears keep burning your eyes
as you keep pushing yourself forward and forward. You don’t stop because you
can’t stop. So you won’t stop.
culture, the 100th day after a child’s birth is cause for celebration because
both mom and baby have survived this fragile period: the time when you are
emotionally and physically recovering from childbirth. An entire human being
left your body. It takes time to recover from that. Your baby is also learning
to adjust in this strange new world
– shifting from fetus to infant.
entire parenting gig is hard.
yourself on constant call, bending over backward (thanks to yoga) for this
tiny, helpless being 24 hours a day. No other life transitions are as
earthshaking as the transition to being a parent. It is a whole new world. So
naturally your priorities shift and so does your energy level.
fallen in love with a total stranger whose personality you don’t yet know. So
you just thrive on other’s suggestions or frantically search on Google out of
sheer helplessness. You want to be perfect and the internet is full of all
kinds of impractical advice to be so. Hence, you spend those first 100 days
when will you finally heal, when will the baby actually sleep, when will you
get to shower, when will you nap peacefully or maybe even get to sleep…
uninterrupted sleep for more than 2-3 hours is a blessing.
For new parents, “Ways to put a baby to sleep” is
probably the most searched text on Google. And all that information is searched
when you are tired, hormonal, and vulnerable, so you end up committing all the
crimes that virtual laws forbid you to while feeling all kinds of
guilt-burdened on your delicate soul. Whoever invented the term ‘sleep
like a baby’ must have never had babies around. If I was bathed, massaged, fed,
rocked, pampered, swung and sung to like that before sleeping, I’d probably
sleep for three days straight.
constantly thinking of 99 things you should be doing right now other than what
you’re actually doing. Talk about 99 problems with no practical solution.
want to be so responsible some days. Sometimes you want to escape. Just run
because fighting the urge to hold the tears back feels too exhausting.
built up a high tolerance for exhaustion, but you’re beyond that now.
Look at the bright side: you’re so much better at
multitasking now. You can practically shut off the lights with your chin while
providing entertainment for your baby as you clothe her in your arms. Who
besides a new mom can function like that? Turns out, we mothers find a way. The
term *necessity is the “mother” of invention* is legit.
to keep up with all the chores when you’re devoting so much of your time to
your baby. The world starts to ride on your shoulders.
sake of your sanity, keep these three words in your mind: lower your standards.
Focus on specific, attainable goals. You don’t necessarily have to soldier on
all alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. And you DO need it.
If you need a hand or two or three, announce it. You aren’t an octopus so take
any help that’s offered. Shamelessly and regretlessly.
Yes, you are basking in the motherhood
the sunshine doesn’t last all day. Eventually, sun sets but rest assured it
rises up again the next day. Nothing lasts forever.
beginning, you think it’s impossible for things to get harder than this – and
then it does…but you quickly learn to adapt to this challenging lifestyle. At
first, even changing a diaper would seem like a task. Now you do it while
Sacrificing for your child becomes easy with time…
will be days that are hard. Weeks that are hard. Months that are hard and then
comes one magical day when your baby goes to sleep on their own rather than in
your arms. And you want to wake them up by smothering them in kisses because
your heart can’t handle all the cupcakes sprouting out of it. After those 100
days pass, you’ll suddenly look at things and wonder how did they just
magically become easier. Or maybe it’s just that you got used to them…You are still
tired – more than yesterday. But you are used to all this and you know how to
keep on keeping on with a smile instead of tears. You still put your head in
your hands and cry in the corner sometimes but you have accepted the hardship
that comes along with this immense joy. There will still be days and nights
where you want to pull your hair out (if you have any left that is), but even
after this whole process, you want to become a mother again. Because this ecstasy is addictive.
And the kids become your drug. You float in euphoria even when you’re a
sleepless zombie. Or maybe BECAUSE you are a sleepless zombie. Nonetheless, you
get to laugh a lot. Because tiny humans are as dumb as anything and oh-so
funny. Their innocence and smile are infectious. The term ”coolness of my
eyes” is real you guys. “Apple of my eyes” on the other hand, I can’t even.
these first 100 days pass – and they will pass one day – you will get to see
many more toothless grins and many more milestones. When toothless grins turn
to toothy smiles, you will keep wanting to shrink them back into their small
selves (and yeah that’s how you welcome a new baby in the house even when you
swore off of it. It’s a vicious circle.